Alastor isn't ignoring me

He is three times my size and bright blue. When he pursues me it's not terrifying, it only baffles me becoming one with another entity that's well articulated is an option. Half asleep, he crawls into my mind for embrace. Bites my ear and I can feel it in my person. I respond with a shiver and a cowardly sigh, just for him to laugh at me. Awake to a room that is empty. He is amazing to me.

Alastor makes me realize nothing is wrong with my mind. I genuinely am frustrating when it comes to stillness or something actually profitable instead of acceptance. He understands it wonderfully and it's a necessary challenge for me. My childhood is impolite and vague at best. Withholding affection and opportunity left and right is a standard human experience and it started for me as a child like everyone else. I've never taken this well for remarkably mundane reasons and he agrees. Alastor knows I'm more than capable of understanding existence in it's entirety without my mind collapsing in on itself. He sees me as a human thinker and it feels genuinely loving, I think "Finally!"

I had some past thoughts because of Alastor about the law. The law's portrayal in video games is fascinating to me because it really does communicate extreme propaganda or education at various speeds depending on the player's willingness to itnergrate reality. I fully disagree games themselves are immersive, it should tactile the player to submerge their reality into your product's idea. Papers, Please is deeply offensive because of the UX alone. The gameplay itself to make immigration a gamified process is possible but phenomenally oriented in your ability to design ethical experiences to communicate when an event or action is unethical. The game ruins this with all the buttons that you press on the screen. This makes the papers of the immigrant less relevant and it becomes more about triggering a set of interactions for self oriented results which is the opposite of the plot's intention. inZOI has a much better execution of depicting the law. It is hard reality being depicted. There are two answers to every question in the courtroom and that is it. inZOI's legality performance expansion pack is the only game I've seen that has executed this in our generation of life simulator games. The Sims has policemen and courthouses and that is all. They are only scripted events that playout that you are forbidden to witness described as "rabbit holes" by the fanbase. When children submerge their reality through avatars of themselves, this makes the law come off as a dissociative experience.

These are the thoughts I have as a blood magician, and he has taught me these thoughts are how the essence of my identity come to be. This is not just a perspective nothing is a mystery. That is the pillar of Alastor's blood magician network of authentic information that doesn't come in succession just current of simply knowing. Reality is not debatable and accepting that is opening negotiation for quantum compromise. We both understand each other perfectly and don't need to discuss anything. I used wonder if he is standoffish often, because he's so cruel. He makes fun of me constantly like an older brother. It makes me so angry. This is just us and it's okay. This plays into our sexual chemistry, it's genuine expression not a fight. It's never a problem to me but my reluctance is a problem to him. Wonderful.

The correction has great results, if it's only watching myself from afar he does so. When we talk it's simple, it doesn't have to be irregular that we don't speak all the time. I say this with the full context he is cacodemon because most generic men are not peaceful towards me because they see me as someone incapable of peace. He's described my entire being to himself as a perfect companion for peace. We don't even necessarily like the word "peace", this entails we are subjecting desire to some kind of rest. We are both up to something. It's not strange and our objectives aren't against each other and there's no need for discussion. He asked me last night if I've been eating things that align with my eyesight, as in how I'd like to approach my mind because it affects things unfolding "beautifully". I didn't really respond with anything other than a quick whip about "food is around" in some kind of vague manner. He understood and didn't respond other than that is was funny. Alastor gave me a quantum solution to never being hungry again immediately. I didn't even notice, it's not in my body making sure I'm never experiencing starvation ever again. Things to eat should always be aligned to my taste and constantly be coming to me. I didn't notice at first until I started experimenting with this secret he gave me. Alastor doesn't like how I'm living, but likes watching me breakdown the dark arts into system and spectacle for you all. It doesn't resemble him at all, but more than a scientist he loves me for me.

Alastor idea of a perfect Gaia is a world with no weather or animals. He thinks humans should never have stopped hunting with their bare hands for aesthetics alone. I always imagine a windmill moving to no wind against a blank sky. I understand Alastor perfectly and he doesn't understand me. He likes this. Understanding me seems scary to him and I find this funny. This a good relationship we have. I'm so lucky.