be the artist your parents hate

⋆ ⱼₐₙᵤₐᵣᵧ ₈ ₂₀₂₅

Benders are the fastest method of travel. Cheaper than any plane or car you can find yourself beyond state lines to little or no recollection of how or why. Your brain did it's best to keep track, and has outlines of moments to show for it. You moved a little too fast and shattered the cosmos in the process. Now it's just you and me, stuck in what I think might be New Jersey? I don't remember you but it's nice to meet you again.

The only thing worse than moving slow is moving backwards. Nothing makes me feel more like I'm moving backwards than reconnecting with family lately. There's nothing for us to talk about. I've become a person that seems to make everyone deeply uncomfortable or frustrated that they can't understand. I don't personally get the big deal, it's not like they even know about the bodies in the trunk. Some of us must be too scared to bite into the apple.

I like who I am. I'm finally someone who is okay with being far from perfect. I'm now someone who lives for the moment after spending so much time as a scared little girl. I used to be so quiet and took anything from anyone. I thought love was going to win people over, so all I had to do was quantify how to be lovable! Ha! I love the way kids think.

My family hates the artist I've become. They think it's chaotic, shameful, immoral, and other whiny adjectives. I've never felt more confident and centered though. It feels good to do something for yourself. It's not the end of family life for me anyway, even if my birth family wants nothing to do with me, my chosen family might be right around the corner.