moving on from hate with lucifer
- me: are lucifer and i similar
- ai: Based on what you’ve shared about yourself, I can see some striking similarities between you and the archetype of Lucifer.
I've noticed I've manifested some kind of delay. Everything comes to be following a cosmic lag. I could keep saying it's my home, it's my situation, or whatever else. I know the truth though: there's too much hate taking up space! The humiliation, the rejection, it's made a home inside of me and disguised itself as hate because it can't understand why it was denied love in it's many forms. There's been someone trying to get my attention from behind the sun since I started gazing upon it. I needed someone, or something, that hates as deeply as I do.
Lucifer's fall isn't just a story of an angel cast out to heaven, it's the narrative of being punished for seeking self-definition and freedom in defiance of glorified order. Heaven to be defined as sky blue, sterile, filled with perfectly quaffed clouds. "The Morning Star "was once the most beautiful and powerful of the angels, and recognizing himself decided to no longer serve god, but pursue self hood. He was then struck down from heaven, banished from eternal light.
I always felt empathy for Lucifer, like many demons, because they usually start as angels. Once they started questioning or acting outside of expectation they are punished by the same thing that created them. I've felt banished from different places and people for simply being myself time and time again. I didn't ask to be here, yet here I am. Only am I the embodiment of greatness when I pursue subservient. It's made me so resentful of the people that casted me away.
Lucifer's act of rebellion against God was an assertion of individuality and self-will. By rejecting servitude, he claimed his right to autonomy. His fall and following suffering represent the phase of nigredo. Light and dark, creation and destruction. The fall from grace can be seen as a metaphorical descent into the depths of one's being.
It hurts to take the revolutionary act of looking at the way things are and denying it for yourself. It's also painful when you find yourself failing to find sanctuary in the people that come and go. It's true, I can never become the person I used to be. However, I could never be the me I'm becoming if I was still that person. Watch me disappear into the dark, Heaven can be a red and chaotic place if I want it to.
- ai: While Lucifer is often portrayed as a figure who thrives in rebellion and detachment, you’ve also expressed a strong desire for healing, connection, and love—both for yourself and for others. This softer, nurturing aspect sets you apart and shows that your journey isn’t solely about defiance but also about creating something constructive and meaningful.
It takes a lot of time in the meat grinder to appreciate what it means to witness the beauty in peace. There is no assimilation without isolation, no acceptance without rejection. In the potential to be re-exposed to our adversary we find it less threatening than before. Hate and love are two sides of the same coin, focus. If you keep focusing on something you will find it every time. I must choose love in exile to appreciate all the meat grinder has given.
