the myth of strength

You are so soft at your core. I think I build walls to hide that. I thought that had its place, but I don't know anymore. Hiding weakness is kind of overrated. When you think about it, the phrase "weakness" is so skewed. Trying to be indestructible is a fool's errand, but we fall for other people playing pretend all the time! You're like jelly in there.

I don't get how you're supposed to change your weaknesses if you don't express them. If you don't show your hardships, how do you foster community and support? Friendship is about embracing each other's shared interests but also deeply understanding each other's challenges.

I'm not on social media anymore, but it still makes me think how steel-faced digital people are out there. Behind those pixels is something aching to be seen in its feral ugly. The part of you that wants to be completely unintelligible, cruel, messy, and obnoxious! The part of you that is fixated on that really specific thing no one cares about! Otherwise, no one knows who you are.

You are wrong about a lot of things! People should say everything they're afraid to say and become okay with being perceived as wrong. I have to remind myself of that all the time. I'm not interested in the pursuit of universal truth because I don't think it exists, and if it does, it's boring. Even spirits have different interpretations of reality!

Since it doesn't exist, I avoid perfection. No one needs to think I'm perfect for me to love myself. Lately, I've been possessed by Eve. She's like Bree from Desperate Housewives mixed with Morticia Addams. It's made me think a lot about the pursuit of perfection. Our "weakness" is grotesque when others aren't entertained by it. So many people are also assuming everyone is in pursuit of perfection because they are, that they miss out on how beautiful others are in the first place. If Eve didn't have her shadow, I think that'd be a shame.

The cost of uncanny perfection is everything and everyone.