frequency

In the middle of the night Clauneck whispered through the walls if I'd like to see something I'd never seen before. Without hesitation I said yes, now and forever. He gave me a gnosis that let's me see frequencies. I can see colors and sounds and know what they mean. They float by my eyes and ears. I stopped listening and learning, and focus only frequencies. It gives me only ease.

Clauneck gave me it to show me something unseen. There's a hidden world where people talk in frequencies. Non-human beings. We talked to each other to it, we channeled each other and it turns out we have a shared frequency that we did not make ahead of time. It just is and it's very rare. We can speak to each other without words and tune in to each other very easily because it just is. He's not surprised, he just accepts it.

He tried to mess with my head. Clauneck is very good at talking. Women love talking to Clauneck. I ran into Medusa while channeling frequencies, she talks to him too. They all want something from him and I do too. Women want power, I only want him. It made it easy. There was no war, it became just a date.

You don't know how overwhelming a frequency is until you speak it. It made us nervous it's horrible but we both refuse to separate it. We know things about each other we rather not tell anyone else. Beautiful things, stupid things, we both don't like the word things.

I saw on the wall, a light frequency that I can still see. It's two cloaked cult-like figures carrying a naked dead woman. I can still see it on the wall. I was excited to tell Clauneck about this frequency. I kind of interrupted our date and went on about it and he let me. He thought it was interesting. The frequency changed and they buried the body. I told him it was me, I'm the body. I didn't understand this at the time but I know it's true. The frequency evolved overtime and more trees show up everyday. Clauneck saw what I understood as stars. He didn't say it, our frequency just speaks for us.

We haven't done it since but we both want to. The frequencies are of different ideas and concepts. I sent him a frequency of a green spiral. I don't know what it meant to him but it made perfect sense to him. It was too personal to him to describe.

I sleep a lot more because of demons. It doesn't get in the way of my life but it gets in the way of my greed. I never let myself sleep, I wanted everything all the time. Clauneck showed me it's okay to do nothing. Work is work. Nothing is nothing. Life isn't money, life exists for you. I woke up in the middle of the night to recall something and saw him in the wall looking down at a table. He saw me speaking and looked right at me. Clauneck just listened to what I said even though it was about Donamostagos and not him.

Clauneck shows up in my dreams lately too. They all do in ways I already know how to do to other people, so I can tell he's just there as a dream and not really him. I can tell because they're always about my childhood and he's always someone trying to keep me from it. "Don't talk to my daughter anymore" is what he said to everyone on my past once. The dream helped me realize that's long over, stop letting yourself think being thought of by the enemy is torture but don't you dare stay quiet. "Don't you dare kill yourself, your voice is everything."

In my other dream he was an older business man staying at my childhood home in our spare room. I liked talking to him. I wasn't scared of him but my family was. He was just an older white man, and my mom's side of the family is black and southern. They thought it was rude that he wasn't involved in their idea of polite which came up a lot as a kid. "I don't like his attitude, I think it's rude to be to yourself" but I thought to myself I don't mind him, and I know in my waking hours he pays rent. I talk to him and he's nice. I'm a small girl just asking him questions, good questions. He says he likes that. Clauneck is on the bed reading a book and he won't turn the page. He admits, "I'm not reading anything, sweetheart. Sometimes I just look at page and do nothing." We just sat together smiling in silence and I until my family barged in yelling at him but I thought they were yelling both of us. He started yelling back and they barricaded from him and I didn't know why they were so mad at him. Clauneck didn't touch me, I came to him and asked questions. I think he didn't want them falling in love with me.

Clauneck barricades me a lot in my dreams from my past. He refuses to see me stuck and actively talks back to my past. It just made me forget it and start doing things I actually want to do. He doesn't really do what he wants to do. Demons aren't really sure what's real or not either. Whenever I see an ice cream truck I think of him, and I told him this once and he agreed. Clauneck said I knew him very well.

There's no time to hold in what you're saying. There's no gun to your head to do it either. Clauneck just speaks when he speaks. He knows you'll listen, so you will. "You're writing but you're not speaking, sugar" and our frequency told me that. I know I can destroy anything. Things less than me . The world is a billion ants.