Piercing by Ryu Murakami
A good friend and I read this one together. It's a psychological thriller by the author of Audition, which has a film adaptation I adore. I went into this short novel with high hopes, especially given the premise: A man is consumed by an insatiable urge to stab his newborn baby to death with an ice pick. It's such a great conversation piece—love bringing up that premise unexpectedly in conversation.
To enjoy this book, I think you have to find entertainment in understanding the pathologies of others. Much of it consists of fragmented reflections from the protagonist and internal monologues about how he’s come to understand life—or, arguably, his lack of self-understanding. With a doting, quiet wife and an average salaryman job with no friendships mentioned, his world comes across as extremely lonely. He is trapped within himself, surrounded by trauma, with no one to confide in about his hysterical thoughts. There's no one to critique his self-concept or logic except the comfort of a seemingly perfect wife. His pain occupies space in their bedroom, but his craving to inflict pain on others is a secret he plans to bury as quickly as possible.
⋆｡°✩ spoilers ahead !! ｡⋆
I got really nervous that the book would turn into a "kill the whore" story once he revealed his plan to murder a prostitute with an ice pick to curb his bloodlust. However, I loved Chiaki! It was almost comedic to see him scramble while dealing with an unhinged young woman. They seem perfectly matched for each other in how they stir up complicated conflicts that never fully resolve but instead teeter into a back-and-forth game of cat and mouse. My favorite scenes were either when Chiaki cuts open her thigh in the bathroom or the final scene in the apartment. I wasn’t a big fan of the ending—I felt there was no real conclusion, and the final line felt a bit corny.
I would read this again, but reading it with a friend made it more special. Reading with friends feels like a dying form of platonic intimacy. It felt meaningful to keep each other in our routines and check in regularly. I can’t quite explain why, but it felt like what life is really about.
