i'm a burning stillness

⋆ ₛₑₚₜₑₘᵦₑᵣ ₃₀ ₂₀₂₄

I'm in love with my life. I'm just disappointed with everyone else. I don't like being told I'm depressed, I think it invalidates phases of life that feel like this. It just happens. I came to an understanding as to why I've been feeling so dissatisfied. Only when I saw someone else look for answers in me did I realize I was guilty of the same. I've been lighting strips of lace on fire and watching it burn. It's literal. It's symbolic.

Speaking of symbolism - There are too many nazis online. I want nazis to feel bad about themselves. I want to force them into the smallest and shadiest cracks of society. I want them to feel like they're always drowning. I'm tired of finding them in my hobby spaces. They don't deserve to be proud of themselves. A passing yet unambigious thought.

My life is inventive lately but it lacks a passion. I'm getting comfortable posting on here after reading old entries. I've been worrying too much about being coherent and articulated. My prior entries lack an organized chaos my internal monologue expresses. I'm trying to get to my core. "If I entered the bedroom in nothing but a bomb strapped to my chest, will my feelings finally be understood?" and other odd questions only I have the answers to. I like to write for the self discovery and have to unlearn what I've been taught. Life writing is one of those little flames I've been finding in myself.