my current self care β‘
I've come to realize as I get older routines should be more of flexible suggestions for me than strict quotas. I feel out what my mind and body needs based on the yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I've always struggled with foresight so I've been learning chess. I usually do it ideally sometime in the afternoon, briefly as the AI kicks my ass every time. I've been reading more about games and players rather than playing because of a lack of humans to play with because how easy it is to cheat online now. It's okay though, I think the fact chess mirrors the logic of others and how our personality invades our logic to be interesting.
For my spiritual hygiene, I do a banishing ritual to reset. I need to meditate more. I used to do it regularly, but I stopped and I believe it's been inflating my health problems. It's hard because when I meditate I tend to fall asleep. I do trakata meditation which is when you meditate with one eye open. The mental experience is different depending which eye is open. I don't play any music and just take in the ambiance regardless of what that may be, and I use lavender oil on my temples and chest. I also do nadi shodhana, or one nostril breathing, when I am feeling down and crave a high. I read my tarot daily, I pulled the fool, four of cups, and justice today. There is abundance waiting for me today if I can embrace optimism.
I follow a plant-based, low gluten diet. Lots of roasted vegetables and chickpeas. I spend a lot of time cooking these days and I like it because it keeps my mind off drugs. I'm committed to keeping a sober house, so no alcohol or weed. I usually have a spearmint or ginger tea, or both together! If I'm feeling fancy I'll treat myself to a falafel gyro with extra hot sauce. No intense exercise for me, just my stretches and daily walk. I'm reading Spinal Catastrophism and it's been making me think about busting out the yoga mat again. I like to do yoga with blocks.
When I learned I was the person listening to my thoughts, not the thoughts themselves, I stopped pursuing affirmations as a habit. I get why introducing new phrases could help diversify one's thoughts though. I see my thoughts as inconsequential, good or bad. The only psychological routines I have are taking time to find the beauty in life and reminding myself of the wonder that is even though nothing is certain, everything is possible.
