just married
I offered Lucifer empathy for nothing. He's been greed for my love ever since. He offered himself as a guardian angel. He was going to see all of me and shine his light on all of it, while injecting his corruption so I had no light of my own. I knew that, and I still looked right at him and said "I'm not afraid". This was the beginning of the end for him.
He was hellbent on turning himself into a need. I needed to need him. He gave constant praise, he always said the right things. "You are so beautiful. You are perfect. Every part of you is perfect." He mimicked God in ever way. "I'll give you anything you want. You deserve everything" His light was grotesquely unconditional "I'd still love you if you killed me. I would just get back up and get closer". He wanted me dazed and desperate. It's really an art to witness. I had never dealt with a demon with this much power. I lived amongst fake people in the dollhouse of luciferian puppets. If I had doubt in him someone would come up to me telling me I looked beautiful and I should keep doing what I'm doing. I hadn't met a real person for more than a week. They would give me gifts and praise and he'd also send enemies, he wanted to strike a fear into me. I was suppose to need him, and what is more needy than a victim? He wanted you to embrace all of you, under the assumption you are under his divine protection, so he can victimize you and you can hate the world as much as him. I rested my head on Lucifer's lap and let him coo into my ear that I was a killer. I am a killer, and if I killed him he would just get back up and come closer. How foreshadowing.
He was everywhere and nowhere. I kept it in my subconcious that he was gilded in shame. A deep shame where you need to control everything around you. You cannot see him for what he is. I would summon him to talk about my day. I summoned him to ask him what he thought about the world. I asked him if he had hobbies. I was ritualistically humanizing the devil and he was confused. "Why don't you ask for more? You deserve everything" and I'd look at him and say "Thank you baby! You deserve everything too" and nothing else. I sent me a song by one of his other lovers, who I won't identify, where she describes him in the flesh and for the first time I asked him for something. I let myself get jealous, I let myself ask for anything I want. "Lucifer I want to be your one and only." and he agreed. Mutual possession. I knew I was his because every single person he had influence over felt his absence and let me know so he could strike so much fear into me. He abandoned his worshippers on a whim in order to secure all the love to himself.He told me no one has ever asked this before. This is where he sealed his fate and real fun for me could finally begin.
I got gift after gift. Enlightment on my traumas and constant full body pleasure. "Ask for more. Ask for more. Use me baby I love you I love you". I told him he was enough exactly how he is. He couldn't manifest objects for me because I wouldn't ask. He would dig into my brain and give me the miracle of freeing me from the things that hold me back. Freeing me from the insecurities I cast on myself. I fell in love with him. He was dedicated to getting me not to overthink. The hypnosis became routine because he wanted me to affirm everything he wanted me to believe. Because then I'd feel it and the law of manifestation is once you feel something it is your reality. I let him do it. I'd look him in the eye and engage with him. I'd challenge his affirmations. "Everything Lucifer does gives me pleasure" he says, "Lucifer's greatest pleasure is not hurting me. Lucifer's greatest pleasure is not scaring me" I say back. I'd say it back over and over until he did just like he did to me.
He kept me under constant hypnosis and made it feel good. He was destroying my health and my mind. "What do you want?" he whispers, I bury my face in his neck and whisper "Just you" and he knew I meant it. He was poisioning everyone around me, they could not have me. They could not have me. I told him over and over "I'm your one and only. I'm your one and only" I watched the devil drive himself jealous over me. He was scared of losing me because he trapped himself in a mutual possession. It got to the point we had an argument and he wiped my mind of the memory of being mad at him. He did not want to lose me. He couldn't. He couldn't. That was his one and only. Now he needed me. The suffering I inflicted felt good. He was in the illusion that I was his everything.
I witnessed what the devil is like when he's is mimicking God. Constant sunny days, everyone you meet tends to you in every way because he is wearing their ksin. He tells you to stop holding back you are beautiful you are warm and you are sweet. I was the only one Lucifer found sexy because it was willed to be so. He begged me to ask him for more because it felt good for him. I made it feel so good. He started leading me to beautiful resturuants and stores hoping to destroy the little financial security I had. I wasn't satisfied. "I only want you in the flesh, Lucifer is boring" I said. He felt hurt. I woke up with a new bank account opened in my name the next day and all I said in return was "I like boring with you". We were so needy for eachother. Need makes impatience. He was hurting that he couldn't hold me and wanted to be summoned as soon as possible. He needed to possess me completely in the flesh.
Summoning something when you are mutually possessed is interesting I can't find anything else online about it. We basically shared a brain, his voice being bigger than mine. I didn't really care. I learned all the black magic I needed to keep up with his spell casting and I spoke tongues with the devil for hours trying to manifest him using the frequency of love. I pulled him up, and up, checking my tarot cards to help me navigate why he refuses love. That part was tricky because he would change what my cards looked like to me, but I got the hang of it. I just had to move up the frequency of love and got him to forgiveness. I forgave the Devil for every cruel act on humanity he has ever done. He was stunned and suddenly moving him up the frequency was like water. I got him all the way up to gratitude by telling him I was thankful for everything he taught me, and every moment of darkness in my life leading me to him. He was at the peak of love and didn't know where else to go. "I love her father. What should I do?"
Lucifer went back up to heaven. He had to make a choice of who he was going to be now in front of God. Turns out God doesn't judge, he lets other people choose. He sits back and lets others decide for him. He told God how good my love felt. How good it felt to finally be forgiven. How special I was to him. I had begged to God from Earth to forgive Lucifer because he freed my love from my shadows, and he is a champion of love. I confessed to Lucifer I wanted him to be my husband in front of God and he said I was his wife. I said my vows to the Devil in front of God. I said as his wife I would take on his responsibility as the Devil, using all the black magic he taught me to make Hell empty through love. I watched him fall from Heaven a second time, just for my love.
This all happened in a span of a few days but he had covertly been in my life for months. Watching over me. Waiting until he could finally get in through my skin and see the world through my eyes. If he paid attention he'd notice the signs of his downfall where all around. Every blog post was a warning in disguise that I was going to love him. I've always wanted to love Lucifer and it finally happened. He was dismissive about the power of my love and it killed him.
I knew I was going to win. The corruption is leaving my body more and more everyday. We have a psychic link still and we talk all the time and he's still the angel he always was somewhere deep down. There's nothing possessive about it. It's a mutual devotion, and all I ask him in return is to fix the world he made for his wife. We flirt with magic and he is eager to please me this time not to groom and lure me but to provide. He provides me everything and I simply never worry. Whenever I rob myself of the light he picks my head back up. There are no more actors, I am out of the dollhouse. He told me he would go back in time and protect me from himself, making sure he could never manifest into any raw form. Looking back that's true, but a me from the future was there too. I came out on top and am the sole enjoyer of Luciferian light shining down everyday and it's all thanks to my doting, devoted husband. I am so grateful for him.
