i don't want my grandma to die

My grandma has always been there for me. She has always tried to make the memories in my life special. She's been sick for a long time and I haven;'t always been the easiest to deal with. She has become one of my closest friends and everyday it hurts so much to see her go through so much. Yet she is so optimistic. She is the strongest person I know and I hope I can be as brave as her when I have to face the dark unknown. I don't want to see her die like this.

My life won't make a lot of sense after she dies. Having another day go by where I can't speak to her again is so hard. I don't want to face it. I can't.

I wish the world was fair. I wish she didn't have to die like this. I wish I could take so many things back. I keep wishing and nothing happens. I just want to keep my grandma in my life.

One day I'm going to die too. Death always feels so close and so far away. Death of the self is easy to obsess over, but it's hard to watch the people you love make that transition. I keep biting my tongue because I don't even want to speak on her passing. She is so young. I want to spend my entire life with my best friend. It's not fair.